The Role of Boundaries

In a continuation my post about the pillars of Tech Consciousness, this article will outline the importance of boundaries in tech usage.

What is a boundary?

Boundary: “The limit of what someone considers to be acceptable behaviour“.

Among the pillars I shared, boundaries are the only one you act on. The other pillars are based on building your mindset, boundaries convert knowledge into something tangible. Boundaries are an expression of what you value and what you are willing to tolerate. Boundaries are the greatest prevention tool in your arsenal for your time and attention.

Boundaries allow YOU to set up how you interact with your technology, not the other way around.

Why do boundaries matter in a technology context? 

Technology is built to blur boundaries. It doesn’t immediately appear to be something negative. It’s convenience with a cute little bow. You can find infinite content on multiple platforms, you can get notifications 24/7 to keep you up to date, all with zero resistance. There’s no built in limits. This is where the problem arises.

If there’s no pushback, overuse becomes your default state. For example, your body will tell you when you’ve eaten enough, there’s no comparable cue to say “you’ve been online too long”. A boundary can’t be overstepped if it doesn’t exist in the first place.

You only notice the problem when you draw a line. Until then, you will keep losing track of where the offline world ends and where the online world starts.

What boundaries should I set?

Here are four core types of boundaries that you can recognise and adjust when necessary:

1. Time boundaries: This is setting limits on when and how long you spend on certain apps and services. This simply prevents you wasting hours of unconscious scrolling and this puts a clear finishing line on your sessions. Examples include no phone for the first hour of the morning, no Netflix after 9pm.

2.    Space boundaries: This is separating where it’s fine to use your devices and where it’s not. Examples include not using your phone in bed, when you’re eating meals or certain areas. Having an area makes it much easier to stop usage versus using willpower alone. A phone-free zone allows you to use that specific area for what it’s meant to be used for, whether social, rest or focus.

3.    Access boundaries: This controls how easy or difficult it is to reach specific apps. If your app of choice is easy to get to, just on your Home Screen or a click away, there’s no resistance. However, if you delete the app, deactivate your account or hide it, this adds friction which will make you think twice before opening it. Adding the friction makes it more difficult to act on impulse, thus giving you time to really ask if you need to use it. 

4.    Attention boundaries: This determines how easy or difficult it is to reach you. Most apps will push you to give them attention they really aren’t entitled to. Turning off non-essential notifications gives you breathing room to focus on yourself. You are the initiator, not the other way around. If something genuinely doesn’t need your immediate attention, it shouldn’t be notifying you at all. Outside of that, using do not disturb will be helpful. In order to really make it difficult, putting your phone on greyscale is good, but very extreme.

Additional to this, there are other boundaries, more specific you can set:

Behavioural boundaries: This is recognising habit loops and compulsive behaviour which keeps draining your time. An example would be not downloading or using any infinite scroll apps.

Identity boundaries: This is avoiding content which places you in a community where going against the grain is wrong, a group that warps your world-view. Keeping yourself from being sucked into a cultish way of thinking.

Emotional boundaries: These include not letting your emotions or self image be manipulated by what you see. Ragebait content is designed to do this. You may see content that opposes your appearance, thinking, opinions and preferences. The key is to NOT allow yourself to fall into the trap of second guessing. Those sweet, sweet engagement figures aren’t generated by the creator. They’re generated by people like you, who fall into those traps. Don’t feed into it.

Closing

Boundaries aren’t a limit to your life, they are a protection barrier to your time and attention. When you have boundaries, you have breathing room to choose how you spend your time, thoughts and actions. Without putting down boundaries, your tech life will claim all of that from you. 

Going from living without boundaries to living with boundaries is going from living on autopilot to living with intention. It gives you room to focus on yourself, your relationships, your future and gives yourself the opportunity to cultivate meaningful experiences.

You need to set up boundaries, not because technology is inherently bad, but instead because your life is too important to leave unguarded.

Just make the next right decision. That’s the most important thing.